Toyoshiko! Bark Friend Machine (Pound Patrol episode 3)
(We see Sparky and the blue squirrel hammering down a railroad spike into the ground. A rope with knots tied at intervals is tied to the spike. Skye runs up to the spike and grabs the rope, dragging it stage right. The camera pans with Skye, revealing Rocky, Chase and Malta watching her.) Chase: Hey, what's that curly coated genius up to now? Malta : I don't know, but I bet whatever it is, I bet I don't understand it. (Skye ties the rope to another spike. The squirrels strum the rope, making sure it's tight, as Zuma runs up.) Zuma: Oh boy, tug of war! (Gnaws on the rope. The squirrels squeak angrily at him.) --or not. Skye: (Counting the knots as Mr. Nut Nut walks by her with a calculator) Seventy-two, seventy-three, seventy-four, seventy-five… Rocky: Okay, I'm curious. Skye: …and one-hundred and thirty-four (turns to Mr. Nut Nut) equals… Mr. Nut Nut: (Enters in several numbers into a calculator.) *Squeaks happily* (holds up calculator, revealing the number 3.141592 on the screen). Skye: (Reading calculator) Three point one four one five nine two, stupendous! Rocky: Skye, what is it? Skye: You won't believe this, but if you multiply the diameter of the parking lot by the height of the fence then divide by the length of this kennel, you get Pi! (Mr. Nut Nut holds up the calculator proudly) Zuma: (As Rocky, Malta, Chase and himself look confused at Skye) ...Cherry or pumpkin? Skye : (Angrily) No, no, not pie pie; Pi Pi, as in three point one four one five nine- the magic number of Euclidean Geometry! (Sadly) Doesn't anyone share my excitement? Rocky: We share it, Skye, we don't understand it, but we share it. Skye: *Sigh* Nobody gets me. (A car honks offscreen, causing Skye to look stage left. A white limo with two antenna flags, American and Japanese, rolls through Shelter 17's gate.) Chase: Looks like we got visitors. Rocky: You know the drill, everybody bark (the gang, minus Skye run up to the fence and barks at the passing limousine) Skye: *Moan* (sadly, halfheartedly) Woof, woof. Leonard McLeish: (Runs up and opens limo's door. Three Japanese men walk out) Mr. Sasaki, welcome to my humble pound! I am so pleased to meet you. *Clears throat* (bows) *starts speaking Japanese* Mr. Sasaki: (Bows) *Replies with more Japanese* Leonard McLeish: (Still bowing) I have no idea what you just said. Milton Feltwaddle: (Offscreen) That's quite alright, Mr. McLeish. (Walking from behind the limo) He has no idea what you just said either. Mr. Sasaki only speaks Japanese. I'm Milton Feltwaddle, by the way; Assistant Vice President of North American Operations and your interpreter. Leonard McLeish: (Still bowing) Perfect! I should probably stop bowing, shouldn't I? Milton Feltwaddle: I think that would by a swell idea. Leonard McLeish: To the office! (Runs offscreen, while the four men stare at him confused) Rocky: (Still in the kennel) Hmm, interesting. I think it's time for a little eavesdropping (walks offscreen, stage right). II- Int. McLeish's Office and Shelter 17 Pound Puppy Operations Person Dressed up in a Geisha Outfit Singing Japanese Traditional Folk Song: (In a high-pitched voice, pouring tea for the four men) Sakura…Sakura…noyama mo sato mo (turns around, revealing "she's" just Olaf in a Geisha dress) (In normal pitch voice) *Coughs hard* Sorry, that's all I memorized. Bottoms up! (Pan in on McLeish's laptop, whose webcam moves. Cut to Shelter 17, revealing that the dogs have the office bugged and are watching on a computer monitor. The five look at each other confusedly.) Leonard McLeish: (On computer monitor) For an old handyman, Olaf sings like a dream, don't you think? Milton Feltwaddle: (Back in the office; Milton's voice is slightly disturbed) Uh, yeah, but onto business. As I mentioned earlier, Mr. Sasaki and his associates represent Poochishita Incorporated. But what you may not know, is that in Asia, they've made dog-catching a billion-dollar business. Leonard McLeish: (Surprised) B-billion?! Milton Feltwaddle: They're fixing to expand into America. Mr. Sasaki: *Speaks Japanese* Leonard McLeish: Uh, what did he say? Milton Feltwaddle: He says that Kennel 17 has the best placement record in the entire world. Rocky: (Back in Shelter 17) Did you hear that? Skye: Simply the best! Leonard McLeish: (On the computer's speakers) And it's all because of me! (The five growl angrily at the computer) Milton Feltwaddle: (Back in the office) That's right, which is why- pending approval from the city -we are acquiring this property and putting you in charge of Poochishita's first office on the continent. Leonard McLeish: Oh, boy! Mr. Sasaki: (Claps) *Speaks Japanese* (his two assistants stand up. One takes out a box from his coat and pushes a button on it. The box expands to reveal what appears to be McLeish's office sitting next to a large metal cone) Milton Feltwaddle: Welcome, Mr. McLeish, to the future of Shelter 17! Leonard McLeish: *Gasp* It's huge! Skye: (Back in Shelter 17) A little too huge, perhaps. Malta: Too huge my tail. Think of all the dogs we'll be able to place. Chase: Yeah, we're the luckiest Pound Patrol unit in the world! Rocky: Yeah, I wonder. Milton Feltwaddle: And now to celebrate, your gift. (turns) Mr. Susaki… Mr. Susaki: *Speaks Japanese* (One of his assistants hands a gift box to Mr. McLeish) Leonard McLeish: (Excitedly) Ay ay ay. (sadly) Wh-what? (takes robot dog out of the box) A dog?! Like I need another one of those-- I mean, goodie (hugs robot). Milton Feltwaddle: This is no mere dog. She is Toyoshiko, Bark Friend Machine! Bark, Toyoshiko. Toyoshiko: Bark... bark bark. Mr. Susaki: *Talks in Japanese for several seconds* (all five men stand up) Milton Feltwaddle: He says goodbye. I'll by back to fill you in on how the deal is coming. Chase: (Back at Shelter 17, where else?) A super kennel- how cool is that?! Zuma : I wanna see the wobot doggie. (Zuma, Malta and Chase rush offscreen, stage left) Rocky: Hey, Skye, you coming? Skye: (Smiling) I'll be up in a moment, I just need to check something out. (Rocky nods and leaves. As soon as he leaves, Skye looks at the model on the monitor worried) III- Ext. McLeish's Office/Shelter 17 Milton Feltwaddle: (By limo. Rocky, Chase, Malta and Zuam are watching behind the fence) Remember, don't let Toyoshiko out of your sight. Bond with her. Leonard McLeish: Oh don't you worry, (holds up Toyoshiko) me and little toilet here-- Milton Feltwaddle: (Correcting) Toyoshiko Leonard McLeish: We'll be the best of friends! (hugs Toyoshiko) Milton Feltwaddle: Super. (goes into limo) (Leonard McLeish waves as the limousine leave the shelter) Toyoshiko: Bark…bark bark. Leonard McLeish: (Disgusted) Ugh. (drops Toyoshiko) Toyoshiko: (Gets up) Bark…bark bark. Leonard McLeish: Get lost, shoo. (pulls ball out of pocket) Go! (throws ball towards the kennel, where the gang is watching. Toyoshiko barks and chases it) Problem solved. (to Olaf) Now, come help me ogle my new office building. Olaf: (Still in his Geisha dress) Ogling is what I do best! (walks with Mr. McLeish back into his office) Toyoshiko: (Walks up to fence) Bark…bark bark. Skye , Malta and Zuma: Awww. Malta: That is one adorable, useless gadget. Rocky: Yeah, a useless gadget that they demanded MacLeish take. Chase: Eh, what are you talking about, boss? Rocky: I don't know, but something's bugging me about this whole deal. Skye : (Walking from one of the kennels) Something's bugging me too. I made some calculations based on McLeish's model and, according to the data, a structure that size will-- Toyoshiko: Bark… bark bark. Skye: (Smiling) Awww, what an endearing piece of technology. (Refocuses) Anyway, as I was saying-- Toyoshiko: Bark… bark. (climbs fence and undoes lock, allowing the door to open and Toyoshiko to come in) Skye : (Surprised) Such a smart machine! Toyoshiko: Thank you for the compliment, talking dog, but it was really quite simple. Using Euclidian Geometry, I merely calculated the necessary movements and opened the latch with my darling little muzzle. Zuma: *Gasp* It's a wobot doggie that talks! Toyoshiko: Of course I talk, as do all of you, I note, although the dog I am most drawn to is this female Cockapoo. I am pleased to meet you, female Cockapoo. My name is Toyoshiko, but you can call me Toyo. Would you like to bond with me? Skye: Uh, sure, robot dog. It's always nice to meet a… thing that enjoys geometry. Toyoshiko: Excellent! We are at this moment now the best of friends. Forever and ever and ever. Skye: (Laughs nervously) (Fade to black)